LOST BAG
by Cate Frearson
That’s actually a funny title as my sister and I call each other “bag” all the time, as a term of endearment of course. She might actually think I’m writing about her as she’s been lost on more than one occasion. She has a very right brained ability to tune out completely and run into walls, trip down stairs, leave her purse or a baby on top of her car then drive away, rear end a big yellow school bus with big red flashing lights (explain THAT to the cops when you aren’t under the influence) and drive blindly past her teenage son walking home from school – five times. I can tease her about all this because I have the same tendencies. But those are stories for another time and this is about something much more mundane – an actual lost bag. And my consequent brief but meaningful relationship with a very polite customer service representative who likely resides in Mumbai and I suspect has a good deal of his mental activity coming from the left side of his head.
For over 45 years, my father has lived on a small farm in Prince George, British Columbia, a rather chilly outpost a few hundred miles north of Vancouver. These days he doesn’t venture south even for the deep freeze which is winter a fraction south of the tundra. This means if we his children who don’t share his love for frostbite want to see him in the flesh we have to dig out our long underwear and brave the frigid temperatures measured in degrees below zero and wind chill factors of 20. My father has always seemed oblivious to this rather obvious rationale for living closer to the 49th parallel despite the fact that every sane person around him is forever planning their retirement in Las Vegas or Baja California. To be fair, summers in Prince George though brief are surprisingly hot but I never seem able to make travel plans in the summer so it feels to me as if the place is locked in a perpetual freeze. I honestly don’t think my father would care if it was.
Following one of my recent forays north to visit my father, I checked in at the airport in Prince George for a flight to Vancouver. It has only a half dozen counters but no one else was in line. In fact, there was no one else at that end of the room so what entailed is a bit of a mystery. There were two agents at the counter having a conversation while checking my bag and that should have been my first clue, but in typical right brained fashion my attention was engaged elsewhere.
They took my bag and handed me a boarding pass with a little sticky on the back. Of course I didn’t look at it; why would I? Did you know that the bag sticky has your name printed on it? I’ve never noticed this important detail before. Nor that the sticky on the boarding pass was related to my bag, even when looking straight at it for several seconds. When I got into Vancouver and had to collect the bag at US Customs before boarding my next flight to Seattle, I waited for several uncomprehending minutes watching one unclaimed bag go round and round on the carousel. Finally it sunk in that my bag wasn’t going to appear and I stood somewhat stupefied peering around the baggage area and wondering what to do next. I scanned the room several times before the very prominent lost baggage sign came into focus along with the agent at the counter. I was somewhat panic stricken by then and quite annoyed that she hadn’t revealed herself earlier.
In that state of mind though my thoughts are like tractor beams I can’t seem to put sentences together so it took a few frustrating minutes to make her understand my problem. She took the boarding pass and while I was still blathering on about the bag and inattentive ticket agents, she identified the problem and pointed out that the sticky on my boarding pass had the name of “Bone” on it. That stopped me in my tracks. I was almost positive my name wasn’t Bone. Turned out the two agents chatting happily at the check in counter in Prince George – though NO ONE ELSE was in line before or after me for several minutes – somehow put Mr. Bone’s sticky on my boarding pass and his tag on my bag. This is not a situation conducive to stress free travel for the right brained. I was immediately popping blood vessels.
The agent gave me a handful of computer printouts stapled to the boarding pass and a number of instructions to follow once I got to Seattle, most of which I promptly forgot in my state of increasing anxiety. I was sure the bag was lost and was admittedly hyperventilating about visiting my 22 year old son and his four male roommates of roughly the same age, without clean underwear and deodorant.
I arrived at Seattle airport without further incident but of course the bag did not arrive with me. Mr. Bone’s bag with my tag on it was there going round and round on the carousel, and unless Mr. Bone had a thing for women’s underwear my bag was doing something similar on a carousel in Calgary. In any event, I was certain it was gone for good and was already dreading the loathsome shopping trip I would now have to take to get through the next couple of days.
Back at my son’s house and relieved to find most of the roommates out of town for the weekend, I called the number on the claim slip to see if the bag had been found. This was my first introduction to the customer service agent who would be conscientiously tracking it for the next two days, his methods and sincerity reminiscent of Inspector Clousseau. He must have either been the only one on duty that weekend, or the airline assigns each case to one agent. Or they were just trying to keep him busy. In any event, I spoke to him several times while the whole bag tracking business was going on. The conversations went something like this:
“Am I speaking with Mrs. Catherine Frearson?”
“Yes, that’s me.”
“This is Mr. Singh of ….airline. How can I help you Mrs.?”
“I’m tracking a lost bag.”
“You’re tracking a lost bag?”
This was said as if he sold women’s lingerie and I was calling to discuss fishing tackle.
“Yes, I am. Would you like the claim number?”
“You have a claim number, Mrs.?”
“Yes, would you like me to give it to you?”
“Is this for a lost bag?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have a claim number?”
“12345678.”
“Mrs. please where is your bag now?”
“I was hoping you could tell ME that.”
“One moment, please Mrs. Thank you so much but I must speak to my supervisor. “
I waited a couple of minutes and he came back on the line.
“Thank you for waiting, Mrs. I am so sorry for the delay.”
“No problem. Does your supervisor know where my bag is?”
“Thank you, Mrs. Your bag is in Seattle. You didn’t collect it at baggage claim.”
“Well that’s because the bag that arrived in Seattle belongs to Mr. Bone and not to me.”
“Mr. Bone? Who is Mr. Bone please Mrs. Did he travel with you?”
“No, but his bag did. I was told he went to Calgary and I’m assuming so did my bag. It should be in the notes on the claim form. We had a tag switch in Prince George.”
“Prince George? Are you in Prince George now?”
“No, I’m in Seattle. “
“You’re in Seattle??”
Like I’d said Hong Kong or Shanghai.
“I’m staying with my son for the weekend.”
“Is your son Mr. Bone? Perhaps he has your bag?”
“No, I’m pretty sure my son’s name isn’t Bone.”
“And what is your home address?”
“I live in Australia. Do you want that address or where I’m staying in Seattle?”
I realized adding another country to list of locations was asking for several more minutes of clarification and a possible rerouting of my bag to Brisbane, but I didn’t want to lie about where I lived. I closed my eyes and prayed.
“Do you want the bag sent to Australia?”
“No, please deliver it to the address in Seattle that’s on the claim form.”
“But you live in Australia?”
“I’m staying with my son in Seattle at the address on the claim. If you find the bag in the next couple of days you can deliver it here.”
“Yes, Mrs. Thank you for your patience. I will telephone the Calgary airport and call you back.”
I wasn’t hopeful that he would locate my bag but he was so polite and sweet that I couldn’t wait for his next illuminating phone call. It came an hour later.
“Hello Mrs. Catherine. This is Mr. Singh. I am calling about your lost bag. I have good news.”
“You found my bag?”
“Yes, it’s been here in Seattle all along. You didn’t claim it at the carousel. It is on its way to you now.”
“I thought my bag went to Calgary and the one on the carousel in Seattle belongs to Mr. Bone?”
“Are you not Mrs. Bone?”
“Not as far as I know. But this wouldn’t be the first time a significant event escaped my attention. Perhaps he drugged me, carried me off to Vegas and married me in one of those little wedding chapels on the strip, all to get his hands on my bag, full of clean women’s underwear and deodorant. Which I now need desperately before my sons’ strapping young roommates show up.”
“Pardon me Mrs.?”
“I’m sorry. Just kidding. Shall we start again?”
“I must talk to my supervisor. I apologize but would you please hold?”
“Absolutely. “
Less than a minute passed and he came back on the line.
“Many apologies, Mrs. We have located your bag in Calgary and it is on its way to Seattle. When it arrives, I will call you.”
I didn’t share his optimism since he apparently thought Mr. Bone was either my son or my spouse, but I was game to play this out.
“And Mr. Bone’s bag which is on its way to me now? What do I do with that?”
“Please give it to the driver when he brings your bag.”
I couldn’t wait to see what would turn up.
Several hours passed and the driver finally arrived. By some miracle, he had my bag and not Mr. Bone’s. God knows what happened to his bag; it was probably on its way to Prince George.
Nonetheless, I was saddened that this would mean the end of my conversations with Mr. Singh. The phone rang minutes after the driver left.
“Hello Mrs. Catherine. This is Mr. Singh. I am tracking your lost bag.”
“Yes, hello Mr. Singh. Thank you for calling me back.”
“I regret to inform you that your bag has been returned to Calgary. I am calling the airport now to arrange another flight. I must apologize on behalf of the airline.”
“But Mr. Singh, I have my bag. It was delivered a few minutes ago.”
“Was that not Mr. Bone’s bag?”
“No, it was mine. It had his tag on it but it was my bag. You see, there was a tag switch.”
“Oh I am very happy for you. When the driver gets there with Mr. Bone’s bag, please have him return it to the airport.”
“I will do that.”
“You have been very kind and cooperative, Mrs. On behalf of the airline, I must thank you for your patience. Please enjoy your stay in Calgary.”
“Thank you, Mr. Singh, I love Calgary and will enjoy every minute I’m here.”
Cate Frearson
